Some years ago I decided to retrain myself from reflexively and excitedly asking the question, “oh boy or girl?” whenever a friend or colleague announced they were adding to their family.

A few different things triggered this series of reflections, including conversations with a trans colleague; many, many nights falling deep into Tumblr rabbit holes; and the exhaustive reporting of the BuzzFeed News team.

Over the course of these years I have worked to engage deeply and with an open mind when it comes to gender, sexuality, and identity. When you grow up in a place like Trinidad, which only this year repealed colonial-era laws that criminalized same-sex relationships, you start this journey at a disadvantage.

But I got here, and I brought as many people as I could with me.