I baked those cookies again, one of my contributions to a friendsgathering / strategy session I have had the privilege of sharing with a handful of brilliant women this week. I immediately want to follow up this sentence with “I’m not really domestic”, but I am also a person who has been recommending this book to all and sundry. And this weekend I bought a beautiful and pristine 1970s Atlas Pasta Maker (for $10!) at a thrift shop. So.

It can be hard to know whether you are where you need to be; it can be hard to be sure that what you are doing is worth doing.

I recently revised my test for work and projects and time spent – “am I learning? do I respect the people I work with?” – to “include, am I reducing harm? am I helping vulnerable people?” Is that enough? I don’t know.

I come from cultures that are collectivist, that are built around the group, the extended family, the yard, the lime. I once lived in an apartment whose primary function was to be a place for my friends to gather. We sustained each other. We broke each other.